Our Story

Many people have asked for our story...so I will share the "short" version!

Philip and I met in Fall of '02 when I began my freshman year at Faith Baptist Bible College where he was working at the Library.  Being a semi small campus everyone knew who everyone was at least by name.  Although we weren't friends, we had mutual friends and we could tell a lot about each other just by who our friends were.

Sometime during my college years Phil asked his sister, Amy, if there was anyone on campus who she thought he should consider dating...and what did Amy tell him?  Kayla!  However, I had no clue about this until December 2013, so obviously, nothing was done about that at that time...but it is a fun addition to our story.

Fast forward 7 years from my graduation to 2013 ~

Phil is lead pastor at Norwoodville Baptist Church in Iowa and I am teaching elementary school and nannying in Minnesota...and we haven't talked or seen each other since I left FBBC.

In September of 2013 I had mentioned to someone that I was totally content being single...that I loved my life...and that I was happy with where God had me and what I was doing.  Her exact words to me were..."You better watch out."  I was confused.  She said, "Your sister said that exact thing to me just a few months before God brought her husband into her life."  My response, "well...God is going to have to drop him from the sky if that is going to happen to me because there are no guys here."

A few weeks passed and we had our dear friends here visiting ~ Chuck and Irene Brocka!  They are like family to us...I was in the kitchen sitting on the counter and Chuck and I were having a talk about life.  He asked me how it was that I wasn't married yet.  Then he told me he was going to think about it for a while...but was sure he knew someone that I should marry :)  I just said, "ok."  Well...the person he came up with was Phil!  When he told me I told him that I wanted to think about that for a while.  I knew who he was...but that was 7 years ago...who was he now?  I had no idea!  I prayed for about 10 days and asked for wisdom from some mentors in my life who also knew him.  Then I chatted with Chuck again.  I told him that I was fine with him mentioning me to Phil...but that Phil was going to have to do something with the information if he wanted because I wasn't going to pursue him...that's not the girl's job.  Chuck told me that he would be going to see Phil on a Sunday evening at his church.

That Sunday evening Chuck chatted with Phil some about me...After he left there Chuck called me and told me how amazing he thought Phil was...how he thought this was perfect.  I honestly thought that NOTHING would happen...but...less than 24 hours later...I had an e-mail in my inbox...PHIL!!

MANY MANY MANY e-mails were exchanged.  We were both not in it "for fun"!  We were pursuing a relationship with a purpose.  It was decided that Phil would come and spend Thanksgiving with my entire family!  So...he did!  33 people...one house...20 kids...and you know what...he loved it...he felt like family...we had a great time together...and my family LOVED him!  It was at this time that he asked my dad if he could officially date me...which my dad was happy to oblige.

The next few weeks our correspondence was more frequent and it was becoming more and more obvious that this was clearly what God has for us!  We talked about future more and more...timing...marriage...etc.  I spent Christmas Eve with his church family...they were such a blessing to get to know.  They were so warm and friendly.  On Christmas we went to his parents...I was a NERVOUS wreck!  I am meeting the parents of the guy that I'm fairly certain I am going to spend the rest of my life with!  The time with his family was sweet.  They were very warm...kind...and embraced me with open arms.  I had a LONG talk with his older sister that was a huge blessing to me.

It was such a blessing that both of our families were behind us...excited about God's leading in our lives...and for that we were so excited!

January brought another visit when he came and asked my dad for permission to marry me...again...YES!

Now the engagement story...

Friday evening Phil picked me up at my best friend's house and took me to a nice dinner at Pittsburgh Blue...a nice steak house.  After we ate he pulled out the ring and asked me if I would marry him...I said, "yes, yes, yes."  Ring on finger and the waiter brought over a cupcake with a sparkler on it.  We spent the rest of the evening calling family...friends...and going to show my ring to Ashley who was working at the time.  It was fun to have everyone else excited for us.

And...that is our story...we have seen God work each step...we praise Him for His direction...for His grace...and for His perfect plan in bringing us together!

It was worth the wait!

I am SIMPLY BLESSED!

A Thankful Heart

There are so many verses in the Bible that remind us that we are to be thankful...

"In EVERY thing give thanks..."
     This does not mean...when things are going well...when your relationships are great...when your kids are healthy...when your car runs...when your house has heat...this means in EVERY thing.  A friend of mine recently posted that she reminded her kids of this verse when they recently got head lice...she had them each think of something they could be thankful for in the situation...and you know what...they did "that we can spend more time together...that everything is clean...that I just got a great head massage."  If little kids can do it...we should be able to, too!
     We have been studying through some times of thanksgiving in the Bible...and you know what...I'm realizing that we are just like they are...we complain when He just sends "manna"...or we just expect Him to heal us (10 lepers only 1 gave thanks) and we are only thankful when we see Him do something great - ie...lead the Israelites out of the hand of Pharoah...provide a sacrifice for Abraham...bring Noah through the flood...etc.
     How about you?  Are you just expecting God to do things for you?  Are you only thankful when you see Him do something GREAT?  Or are you thankful for the little things?

"O give thanks unto the Lord: for He is good."
     God is good...He is ALWAYS good!  He is good...even when kids get cancer...even when a mother loses her baby...even when a loved one dies...even when your house gets foreclosed on...even when your kids are struggling with sin...even when your marriage is falling apart...GOD is still good!
     Even your very breath is God's goodness to you...His grace!  He has given you another day...another hour...another minute...to be used by Him...to be loved by others...to show others love...to spend time with loved ones...to impact another life...and so much more!

We have truly been blessed!

Our students will be singing this song on Sunday...the words are great...showing us how blessed we are...How much we have to be thankful for...may we never get caught in the rut of an unthankful spirit...and may we always see God's grace in our lives!

I HAVE BEEN BLESSED

Mike Compton

Verse 1:
When He moves among us all that He does
all of His mercy and all of His love
and the pen of the writer could write everyday
even this world could never contain
how I've been blessed

Verse 2:
The warmth in winter the flowers in spring
the laughter in summer and the changing of leaves
the food on my table a good place to sleep
clothes on my back and shoes on my feet
I have been blessed

Chorus:
I have been blessed God's so good to me
precious are His thoughts of you and me
no way I could count them there's not enough time
so I'll just thank Him for being so kind
God has been good so good
I have been blessed

Verse 3:
Arms that will raise a voice that can talk
hands that can touch and legs that can walk
ears that can listen eyes that can see
oh I've got to praise Him as long as I breathe
I have been blessed

Verse 4:
A father and mother who nurtured and raised
a brother and sister memories made
our pastor to lead us the altar to pray
stripes that can heal the blood that can save
I have been blessed

Chorus:
I have been blessed God's so good to me
precious are His thoughts of you and me
no way I could count them there's not enough time
so I'll just thank Him for being so kind
God has been good so good
I have been blessed

Verse 5:
We live in a country the greatest on earth
our flag stands for freedom and what it is worth
she stands in the harbor Miss Liberty calls
all have gave some but some have gave all
for me to be blessed

Verse 6:
He's my shoulder to lean on when I am down
the rock where He leads me when I'm overwhelmed
the place where He hides me under His wings
He's not just a song He's the reason I sing
I have been blessed

Chorus:
I have been blessed God's so good to me
precious are His thoughts of you and me
no way I could count them there's not enough time
so I'll just thank Him for being so kind
God has been good so good
I have been blessed 

- See more at: http://christiansongoftheday.blogspot.com/2009/03/i-have-been-blessed.html#sthash.iJs7ywar.dpuf

May we always remember to be Thankful for the many blessings God has given to us!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Are you a Balcony Person in the lives of others

Yesterday I attended a teacher's convention and was able to be with lots of people that we know and love. One of the ladies that I have ministered with for many years is Mrs. Sandy Dawson.  During the day I attended quite a few sessions...so I'm sure there will be more blog posts in the very near future...lots of good stuff.  However, this session stood out to me and really challenged me...so I asked her if I could use her points when I wrote my blog and she was happy to oblige.  I will post all her points first and then put my thoughts on it at the bottom.

Balcony People: Biblical Encouragers
Isaiah 35:3-4 3 Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. 4 Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong , fear not: behold, your Godwill come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you.

4 Types of People:

                Those who add to us

                Those who subtract from us

                Those who multiply us

                Those who divide us

Balcony People:

                See and look for the good

                Cheer others on to success

                Build bridges of Reconciliation

                Tell the truth with grace

                Expect miracles

                Protect others

                Stand for what is right   

                Energize others

                Exhort others

Balcony People in the Bible:

               Lead in encouragement - God, heavenly balcony of saints

               Trust Authority - "Mrs. Noah"

               Step out in faith - Rahab

ON THE CONTRAST

BASEMENT people in the Bible:

               Satan - Accuser

               Job's friends - Question everything

               Job's wife - Belittle others

Balcony People in your life:

               Recognize your gifts

               Encourage you to believe

               Flame your potential

Becoming a balcony person:

              Pay attention to those around you

              Respond to their needs

              Present encouragement with sensitivity

              Call no person hopeless

              Look for their strengths

              Seize opportunities to encourage

Traits balcony people learn and give away:

              Love from the heart

              Listen from the heart (listen more/talk less)

              Care from the heart

SIDE NOTE:

Biblical approaches to encouraging...

             1. Being present - II Corinthians 7:6

             2. Using words - Proverbs 16:24

             3. Taking action - Exodus 17

Wow...that's a lot to take in...a lot to mull over...a lot to think through...so...what am I?  A balcony person - cheering others on...or a basement person - accusing, questioning, and belittling?  I have to say that being in a profession - or many of them as the case may be - where I deal with people over and over and over again (the same people) it gets easy to get caught in the rut of always seeing the bad...and not the good.  When you are constantly saying the same thing over and over and over and over again...beating your head against the brick wall...it is hard to be a balcony person...BUT isn't that exactly what God does for us? ...OVER AND OVER AND OVER again we fail Him...constantly...and yet, what does He do...He just keeps picking us back up...brushing us off...giving us mercy, grace, forgiveness, and strength...and saying "I know you can do it with my help."  

Another thing that I took from this was how thankful I needed to be for my balcony people in my life.  Those who have encouraged me to press on even when I fail...those who keep loving me even though I'm not perfect...those who see the good in me and encourage me to keep on keeping on...ALL of those people are God's grace to me...and for that I am eternally grateful.

How about you?  Are you a balcony person?  Or maybe a basement person who needs to step up some steps and get to the balcony?  Can you think of balcony people in your life?  Those who are there, cheering you on...?  Maybe take the time today to write them a note of thanks...thank them for being a balcony person in your life.  

Simply GRACE

With the world full of sin and it's consequences...I think I struggle to fail to realize how much grace God is actually giving me each day...

Grace...
1. That I wake up each morning healthy enough to do the things I need to
2. That I am not hungry
3. That I have God's Word in my printed language
4. That I have a wonderful-God fearing-God serving family
5. That I have jobs that I love
6. That He chooses to use me in people's lives even when I feel totally inadequate
7. That my car gets me where I need to go
8. That I am not struggling with major health issues
9. That I have great friends that point me back to Christ
10. That I am able to teach young lives for the cause of eternity
11. That He loves and forgives me when I fall
12. That I have the armor to stand against the wiles of the devil
13. That my life (although not perfect) is not falling apart before my very eyes
14. That I have so many littles to love on...even though none are my own
15. That I get to serve in my local church
16. That I have a good, solid, church to be a part of
17. That each of my sisters are married to Believers
18. That Alyvia is now part of our family
19. That Taylor is done with hospital treatments
20. That I am surrounded daily with people who love God

THE LIST COULD GO ON AND ON...

These last few weeks I have been in awe of God and His grace in my life...may I never get blinded to this grace!  God is sooo good to me.

Praying that this week, you, too, will focus on God's grace...even your very breath is God's grace to you...or the fact that you have a healthy body...or you have a great husband and kids...or your car got you to work today...or that you haven't lost someone in a fatal accident...think about it...GRACE!!! - Totally unmerited favor...

Maybe you have a lot of things going wrong in your life...maybe your marriage is a wreck...your kids are choosing sin...you have health issues...or you just lost someone you love...of course...these things are hard...just remember where your grace and strength come from.  Focus on the grace...no matter how small is seems...that God does give you...each and every moment of your day.

Your Grace Still Amazes Me

Depression is REAL

What is depression?

"a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason" ~dictionary.com

Who struggles with depression?
   
     There are many possibilities to this answer
         1. One who has lost a loved one
         2. A mother who has a new infant/or one who wants to be a mother
         3. A pastor's wife with lots of stresses of so many people depending on her
         4. A woman who has aborted her child and now regrets it
         5. Someone struggling with a terminal illness
         6. Someone facing difficulties in their marriage
         7. One who has lots of work stress
         8. One who's spouse is serving in the military and is never home
         9. Someone with financial difficulties
         10. A parent whose child is making poor choices
         11. A person who has been without a job
         12. One who wants to be somewhere else in their life
         13. One who doesn't feel loved
         14. One who has no sense of belonging
         15. One who feels all alone
The possibilities are endless...the truth is it could be ANYONE...in any walk of life...we are all able to struggle with depression...
    
That being said...why, as Christians, do we tend to think that Christians aren't touched by this?  Why do we think that the only reason that someone who is a Believer would struggle with depression is when he/she takes their eyes off their true source of joy, Jesus Christ?  I know of many Christians who are so judgmental of someone struggling with depression...and it REALLY frustrates me.  Depression is REAL...and can affect ANYONE...Believers and unbelievers alike. 

In the last few weeks I have read quite a few books on depression by Christian Authors.  I am hoping this information helps you...maybe one struggling with depression...maybe someone who loves someone who is currently struggling...or maybe just info you can tuck away for future reference.

If YOU are the one depressed...

As believers we must always remember this "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:" 1 Peter 5:8

Satan wants you discouraged no matter where you are at in life...but the Holy Spirit wants you hopeful. 

*****BE ON GUARD - Satan is powerful and he will use any way he can to get into your life to discourage you and make you less effective for Christ. 

If you find yourself feeling discouraged, here are some verses that can be helpful...

Psalm 30:5b "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

2 Chronicles 20:17 "Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the Lord with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the Lord will be with you."

Psalm 32:7 "Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah."

Psalm 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord."

James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope."

James 1:2-4 "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."

Psalm 27:1-4 "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple."

*****A few thoughts to remember taken from the author Hulme
              1. One can not control their feelings in depression, but one can               control their thoughts.
              2. Pray for other people, it helps get the focus off of yourself.
              3. If you are carrying with you resentments from the past, they are like poison to your mental health.
              
*****A few points from a book I read by Dr. Backus
              1. Locate misbeliefs, remove them, and replace with truth.
              2. What you think and believe determines how you feel and what you do.
              3. Pray answers instead of problems.
              4. Disconnect the trigger that sets off the bomb.

*****Joyce Meyer in her book made these points
              1. Take care of issues at onset
              2. You can't always feel joy until you activate it by purposely operating in it.  Often the decision comes first, then feelings follow.
              3. We cannot put all causes of a problem in one box and pull out one right answer.
              4. Satan wants us weak and unable to do anything except put up with whatever he decides to throw on us.

*****What about Meds to help with depression???
           You ask this question to 10 Christians and you will get 10 different answers.  
            Truth is...there are medical reasons that do go along with and sometimes cause depression...chemical imbalances...other physical struggles...the medical side of depression is real.
            One author put it this way - if you go to a Dr. for an infection and the doctor ONLY gives you a pain killer and sends you home what will happen?  Sure...you won't feel the pain, but you also won't get to the solution...you also need an antibiotic.  However...even if you get the antibiotic to cure the infection, you would still use a pain killer to treat the pain until the problem subsides.  I thought this was a very good illustration.  The "infection" causing the depression isn't going to go away until you figure out what it is and use an "antibiotic" to fix it...if it's spiritual...get in the Word and work through it.  That being said...sometimes one does need the "pain killer" to help while working through the real issue.
            I know that not all that read this will agree with me...and that's fine...I'm not here to debate this issue...but it is a very touchy one, so please think through your thoughts on it before you flippantly throw them at someone who may be really struggling.

If you are helping someone who is struggling with depression...

     *****Pray for them and with them (if they are willing to let you)
     *****Listen - they don't expect you to have all the answers, sometimes they just need an ear to listen.
     *****Bring them back to God's Word.
     *****Help them focus on truth and not what ifs or "feelings"
     *****Most will give you the cold shoulder at first, don't take it as anything personal...just keep loving them just the same.
     *****Have compassion
     *****Treat them carefully, but don't "dance around" something that you know is sin...address it as such.
     *****Ask specific questions - if you ask a generic question, you will get a generic answer.
     *****Show them Jesus - in your words, your actions.
     *****Pray that God would show you how to help them...that He would give you wisdom that only He can give.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtNzOpKvPfw

Simply Blessed

Had a fabulous day today with a precious sister in Christ!  

CRAZY wind hair!!

12 years ago I was a counselor at Bass Lake Camp.  I had a fabulous cabin of CRAZY girls.  They were great...just loud and crazy.  We had a blast that week.  Many memories were made...and I learned a valuable lesson.

All week I was praying for each of my girls...praying for God to speak to their hearts...praying for some who came from hard home lives...praying for the souls of others to be saved...

In my cabin that week was a girl that this was her first year at camp.  She was such a blessing to me...she was happy...she listened...she had fun...she came from a Christian home...and was faithful in church...she seemed like the perfect little Christian.  I enjoyed getting to know her...spend time with her...laugh with her...but God really used her to show me something.  All week I had been praying for specific girls in my cabin who needed salvation...but this was NOT one I had been praying for...clearly in my mind she was "saved"...she had the "perfect" outward appearance...but FRIDAY night she came running up to me with tears in her eyes and said she had just talked with the speaker and had gotten saved...I stood there...my heart was sooo happy...but I was also taken back...SERIOUSLY??? YOU???  Wow...God is good.  I felt guilty that I hadn't even asked her if she knew where her eternity lay...if she knew she was going to heaven...that was MY job...and I failed it...because of assumption.  I just assumed that this little girl who had it "all together" was already saved.  

God used this time to show me that I need to be so careful with assumptions.  I'm so thankful God used that week of camp...that speaker...to speak to her heart...and that the Holy Spirit showed her that she needed salvation...because her counselor didn't approach that issue AT ALL.

God has reminded me of this exact moment sooo many times...and thankfully just recently I was able to show someone from the Bible about their need for salvation...someone that I thought was saved...but when I asked she wasn't.

Because of this huge impact it made on my life for witnessing and investing in lives for eternity, Kirsten has always had a special place in my heart.  God used her to teach me something big.  Something that lasts.  And for that I am eternally grateful.

After that summer I tried to stay in touch with her...we wrote some letters and I tried to call her when I knew something big was going on...

Over the years we didn't stay in touch very well until we were both adults and Facebook was prevalent which made it pretty easy.

Now fast forward - 12 years from those camp days...and this is where we are...

Encouraging one another in our spiritual walks...holding each other accountable in areas in which we struggle...being the friend that snaps reality back into us...

So thankful God has chosen to use this sweet girl in my life...12 years ago...and today...

I am simply blessed!

A few pictures from our fun day together...lots of smiles...laughs...and happy times!

James the friendly Viking

Simply blessed

Us with Ole the Viking

Life Isn't "Fair"

So many times I hear someone say, "Life isn't fair" or "That's not fair"!

When I was teaching 4th grade a few years back, I had quite a few students that would constantly say, "That's not fair!"  I had finally had enough.  I set them all down and talked with them.  Basically my point I made very clear was that they didn't want "fair".  What's "fair" is that we pay the penalty for our OWN sin...what's "fair" is that we spend eternity in a lake of fire because that's what we deserve...THAT's what is fair.  However, God in His mercy and grace has given us a way out...Salvation through the shed blood of Jesus.  When you catch yourself thinking "that's not fair"...just remember what is "fair" and thank the Lord that He is merciful and gracious!

In college I attended Slater Baptist Church and while there the pastor gave an illustration that really stuck out to me.  He had brought all the ingredients to make a cake...flour...oil...baking soda...eggs...sugar...vanilla...etc.  He measured out each thing and poured them in a big bowl one by one...as he did he asked...who would like to eat the flour by itself (no one did of course)...who would like to eat the sugar (lots of people did)...until he had placed in all the ingredients.  He said...this is kinda how our life is.  Each thing that comes into our path is like an ingredient...some we like by themselves...some we don't.  However...once you put the "mix" into the fire (oven) the end result is something we all want...cake.  That is just like our lives.  We want God to work in our lives...we want the end result...but we aren't willing to put in all the ingredients...if we just had sugar and vanilla...what would the end result be?  NOT cake.  However...when God mixes both "good" and "bad" things in our life...and puts us "through the fire"...we get the real end result.  Something we want!
This illustration really stuck with me.  Many times in life there have been hard times...things I didn't understand or want...but I had to remember...God is using it for my good and His glory and in the end He will prevail.  So thankful for this visual reminder!

So many times we tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive...so today I'm going to share some of my "sugar" and "vanilla" -

None of these things I deserve...but God has been good and gracious to me!

1. Salvation from my sin
2. His Word
3. An eternity in heaven
4. A Christian family
5. A job
6. A bed to sleep in
7. A warm house
8. Warm clothes for winter
9. Lots of "littles" to love on
10. The ability to minister for Him
11. A church family that I love
12. Sisters
13. True Heart friends
14. A car that runs
15. Strength for each new day
16. Mercy
17. Food to eat
18. That I woke up healthy and able to face my day
19. Technology
20...and the list could go on and on and on...

Truly God's grace - unmerited favor!!

May I be thankful for the things He graciously gives me that are good...instead of focusing on my wants and desires.  May I remember to be grateful that life isn't fair!  May I constantly focus on God's mercy, compassion, grace, faithfulness, and strength!  God is good all the time!!

Maybe your life is "falling apart" right now?  Maybe you feel like you have no where to turn...you DO!  Turn to the One Who's mercy and grace are evidenced in your every day life - The God of the Bible!  He loves you!  He cares about you!  He has your best interest in mind!  He never promises you're not going to go through the valleys of life...but He does promise that you won't go through them ALONE!  Cling to Him!